Respect People By Respecting Their Boundaries
I have 101 University-related stories and lessons. Here’s another one 😊
One semester early on in my Uni. days, a couple of close friends and I had an inside term we called ourselves - G.O.A.T (also known as greatest of all time).
Whenever we’d spot each other across campus walking towards class or heading to the cafeteria, we’d yell out "Whaddup g.o.a.t!" It was hilarious. An insider joke that on one hand highlighted how great we viewed each other and on the other hand, confused anyone within the vicinity that wasn’t in our friendship circle.
We loved it.
One day, a 'g.o.a.t.' friend of mine and I had just made it back to our apartment complex and we ran into another gal we knew. In the spirit of 'joke' and a weak attempt at making her feel part of the crew, my friend and I called out to her and said "Whaddup g.o.a.t!"
Then we explained what the word meant to us. Her response was not what we expected. She looked visibly hurt. That hurt turned to anger quickly. With a very angry look on her face, she said "Never call me goat again. Never. I don’t find it funny or cool at all!"
My friend and I went from highly amused to highly confused. We immediately apologized and said we’d never call her that again. She then proceeded to walk off. Initially, my friend and I thought her reaction to a word that we simply used in jest was 'extreme’.
Upon further reflection, I gained a different perspective.
I realized that people have different backgrounds and experiences that influence their thought patterns and mindsets. It’s possible that 'g.o.a.t' was a trigger word for her associated with a bad experience.
I don’t know.
What I do know is that it is my responsibility (as a human who wants to limit the chances of being an active trigger that leads others into negative downward spirals) to respect people’s boundaries and differences. The same way I like people to respect mine.
As Maya Angelou said: "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you make them feel."
Let’s be intentional and mindful of how we make people feel.
